


Quarantine in the TARDIS

by oswinious



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, I'll update the tags as I go, It's a lil angsty at times soz, Mutual Pining, quarantine fic, thasmin, two idiots with a crush and shit communication skills
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:13:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23404315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oswinious/pseuds/oswinious
Summary: Wanting to treat her companions to a day at the beach, The Doctor takes the fam to Florana, a planet known for its crystal-clear water. When they land, though, they are in for quite a surprise. Takes place before the events of The Timeless Children.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 10
Kudos: 56





	1. Day 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So, I haven't written a fic in YEARS, and English isn't my first language so... yeah. Sorry about that.  
> Between my renewed obsession for Thasmin thanks to the series 12 finale and my newfound free time (we all know why), I figured I'd take the opportunity to go back to fic writing.

“Okay, fam, this is it!” She looked at her three companions, smiling. “The beautiful, peaceful, Florana.”

Graham, Ryan and Yaz, all ready for their day at the beach, beamed at her. The Doctor, still wearing her usual attire, leaped to the TARDIS’ door. As she was about to step outside, the door slammed shut in her face, and a deafening alarm rang in the ship.

“Oi! What the hell is going on?” Yaz screamed, covering her ears as best as she could. Ryan shrugged while following her movement. Graham, although clearly bothered by the sound vibrating through the ship, took out a ham sandwich out of his beach bag. “Doc, d’you mind making it stop?” Graham asked mid-bite.

The Doctor ran to the console, flicking switches, turning screens towards her, trying to make sense of what was going on. The ringing finally stopped, but the Doctor was looking at a screen, sporting a worried nose scrunch. “I’m sorry, fam, I don’t know what’s goin’ on at all!” She looked intensely at her screen. “Oh.”

“What is it?” Yaz asked. “Is everything all right?”

Ryan reached the Doctor, looking at the screen. “This doesn’t look too good,” he said, pointing at a red, flashing word. “’Quarantine’. Sounds like our beach day is cancelled, Doctor.”

“Oh, Ryan. Trust me, it’s much worse than a spoiled beach day,” the Doctor said. “We’re stuck here.”

“What d’you mean, Doc?” Graham wondered.

“That’s why the TARDIS door closed as soon as I tried to step outside. I suppose there’s a virus outside, and she sensed it. Hopefully nothing got in here, but we can’t be sure. Viruses are unpredictable, and the TARDIS knows it, which is why she’s locking us in here.”

“Well, at least we can just go back home,” Yaz answered. The Doctor pursed her lips.

“According to Article 23 of the Shadow Proclamation, we can’t really leave, actually.”

The three companions stared at her, agape.

“Yeah, it’s a bit tricky. Can’t risk propagating the virus somewhere else, especially not on outer worlds. It’s a bit like what they did with the Covid-19 in 20…”

“The what?” Graham asked.

“Oh, right. You’ll see,” the Doctor said, still too socially awkward to reassure her companions. “Anyway, when the TARDIS slammed that door on my face, she actually put herself on lockdown,” she explained. “Just like any other epidemic – or pandemic, who knows – we have to prevent contamination. So, she,” pointing at the ship’s console, “is protecting her outside. That way, it won’t come into contact with any particles from Florana, contaminated or not. It also means we can’t go out.” She took a deep breath, “We have to quarantine.”

“Can’t the ship just scan herself for contamination?” Ryan asked.

“Well, she – or us, actually – could be asymptomatic. But there’s still a chance we’re gonna spread the thing outside of here, and we wouldn’t want that, would we?”

Yaz was pacing around the console, chewing her nails. “How long’s it gonna be? Isn’t a quarantine something like forty days?” She looked and sounded worried. Not that she was bothered about not going home; she’d rather be stuck here for a year with the fam rather than go back to parking disputes. Two things worried her, though. One: what if one of them got sick? And two: what if the one to got sick was the only woman who could get them out of there?

Graham was still eating his sandwich, at peace with the situation, as he knew there was more than enough food in the TARDIS for them to survive for a good while.

“Well, forty days is a bit much if you ask me. According to the Shadow Proclamation, we have to isolate for roughly,” she stopped herself, mentally making the maths, “fourteen days. As long as we don’t get sick, that is.”

“Oh, good. Fourteen days stuck in the TARDIS,” Ryan said.

“Oi! Be nice,” the Doctor argued. She stopped moving, suddenly hit by the facts. “Oh God. Two weeks. Two whole weeks doing nothing. I’ve done all the repairs I needed to do on the TARDIS last week!”

“Doctor,” Graham started, “it’s not like you’re gonna get bored in here. Two home theaters, all the video game consoles and games you could ever wish for, a pool, a library, three kitchens, and a whole room full of board games… I wouldn’t quarantine anywhere else.” He grinned. “If you need me, I’ll be in a kitchen.”

“Grandad, wait! I’m coming with you,” Ryan ran to his side. “Wanna play a bit of FIFA 2023 afterwards?” They fistbumped walking out of the console room.

“Wash your hands,” the Doctor screamed. She looked at Yaz, and gave the younger woman one of those bright, nose scrunching smiles. Yaz softened, her cheeks suddenly warmer. Not that she was oblivious to the Doctor’s charisma, but Yaz was surprised by her own reaction. Not only the overwhelming warmth on her face, but the way her friend’s smile started a chain reaction in her mind, as if the Doctor had settled into her brain and decided to spend her quarantine in there. Her thoughts wandered to all these times the Doctor had reassured her, made her feel valued and valuable. “We can’t have a universe with no Yaz,” the Doctor’s voice echoing in her head, constant reminder that she was important to her.

“TARDIS to Yaz,” the Doctor laughed. “You alright?”

Yaz felt her cheeks getting warmer again. “Oh, yeah. Been wondering what I’m gonna do for two week and all.”

The Doctor started waddling with excitement, reminding Yaz of a puppy. “The boys will definitely spend the next two weeks playing video games and eating snacks. I dunno, I figured we could spend some time together. Maybe have a sleepover at some point? I dunno, are sleepovers still a cool thing to do at your age? My conception of girls spending time together is influenced by all the early 2000s movies I watched… And I do mean Earth movies. Though early 2000s movies in general, unrelated to the planet, have very similar themes… Anyways, I always wanted to go to a sleepover,” she looked thoughtful for a second. “I mean, since I regenerated in a woman body. Before that I was curious about it, but didn’t really care for it, you know? Or I pretended like I didn’t care? Who knows?”

Yaz was laughing at her friend’s rambling. “Of course, we can have a sleepover! If you ask me, they’re always great. Especially with a great friend like you,” her face grew hot again.

“Brilliant!” The Doctor waggled some more. “Right now, though, don’t ask me why, but I really, really wanna bake something. So, I’ll go do just that,” she said, leaping outside the console room, Yaz’s eyes following her, smiling softly.

“Well,” Yaz whispered to herself, “that is a disaster waiting to happen.” The young woman headed to the bathroom to wash her hands thoroughly – the Doctor had been adamant regarding this – and stopped by the library to grab the first of many books she’d read while on quarantine. Her eyes stopped on a Shakespeare play, Much Ado About Nothing. She took the book, exited the room, and walked toward the noisiest kitchen, assuming that’s where the Doctor was.  
“Doctor,” Yaz said, “you alright?” She dropped her book on the counter. The blonde woman was tiptoeing, trying her best to reach for something in the cabinet. When she turned around, her face was covered in flour. Actually, make that her whole body; the Doctor was messy on a good day, but this was on a whole new level.

The Doctor being who she is, she was still tiptoeing. “I’m alright, thank –” she started, losing her balance. Yaz leaped and caught her right on time. But as she felt her soul falling into a pair of green eyes, she slipped on the massive amount of flour that was covering the floor, falling in the middle of the kitchen, the Doctor on top of her. Their eyes met and locked again. Yaz could feel the warm breeze of the Doctor’s breath on her face. Her cheeks grew hot again as the Doctor supported herself on her shoulders.

“Hiya Yaz! Thanks for catching me.” The Doctor jumped back on her feet and reached out a hand to Yaz to help her up. Her smile got a little brighter when she felt her companion’s soft hand in hers.

“Would’ve been a lot better if I had been able to stay upright while catching you, though,” the companion answered. As much as she wanted to keep her composure in front of her friend, deep down she couldn’t complain about the situation at all. “What were you trying to get up there, anyway?”

“I was looking for the dinosaur cookie cutters,” the Doctor started. “I need them!” She opened another cabinet and started jumping as high as she could to try to see what was inside.

“Doctor,” Yaz laughed, holding the Doctor’s shoulders to keep her still. “Let me help you.” Her hands slid to either side of the blonde’s waist, and Yaz lifted her so she could reach the contents of the cabinet.

“YAZ! Yaz, I see them!” Yaz looked up and saw the Doctor, holding a plastic bag full of cookie cutters high over her head. She was kissing it like a hockey player would kiss the Stanley Cup, which made Yaz giggle. The younger woman slowly took down her friend, who then proceeded to turn around and jump in her arms. “Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!”

Yasmin Khan was suddenly even more excited about the next two weeks.


	2. Day 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! Sorry about the delay, I had a hard time finding the right way to end the chapter. Anywayyyyyy, I hope you like it! :)

Yaz woke up fairly early, or at least it felt like it. Earth time was a bit irrelevant in the TARDIS, but she liked to keep track as to not be jetlagged when the Doctor takes them home. She looked at the alarm clock on her nightstand: 6:30am. She groaned, cursing herself for not even managing to sleep in while in quarantine, but dragged herself out of bed, nonetheless.

As usual, Yaz walked straight to the console room to have a chat with the Doctor before breakfast. Much to her surprise, her friend wasn’t in the room. “Unusual,” Yaz thought. She headed to the first kitchen, hoping she’d find the Doctor over there, all jittery and drinking her third cup of tea of the day. Again, no Doctor in sight. Could she be sleeping? Yaz never actually woke up before the Doctor; she assumed the alien didn’t need sleep or slept so little none of the fam had ever took notice of their friend’s sleeping pattern.

Yaz put the kettle on and took the cereal box out of the pantry. She was about to take a handful right out of the box, but quickly remembered the situation. The possibility that one (or all) of them had caught the virus changed her course of actions. She thoroughly washed her hands and filled her bowl with cereals. Her cereal bowl in one hand and her cup of tea in the other, she sat at the nearest dining table. Yaz ate her breakfast quickly, and slowly sipped on her tea, looking around the room and taking in the smallest detail. Even if they were confined in the TARDIS for the next 13 days, she was still somehow grateful. Grateful for all the crazy adventures they’d gotten into, grateful for being alive, and just getting to live things to the fullest. But most of all, Yaz was grateful about her friends.

Her mind wandered on slippery ground when she acknowledged the fact that she was grateful for one friend more than the others… Not more, but in a different way. A scary, exciting way.

When she saw the Shakespeare play she had planned to read the previous day waiting for her on the counter, she figured it was a sign from the Universe (or the TARDIS?) to keep her mind away from these thoughts. She willingly obliged and cracked the play open.

Graham and Ryan entered the room when she was about halfway through Act 4.

“What an early bird you are, Yaz!” Graham said.

“Yeah, well… Quarantine changes a woman, I s’pose,” she laughed. “What time is it, anyway?”

“Almost 9,” Ryan said, looking at his watch. “Woah. Isn’t the Doctor up yet?”

“She wasn’t up when I stopped by the console room, anyway,” Yaz answered. “Unless she’s being uncharacteristically quiet this morning, but I doubt it.” 

“I never realized she actually needed sleep,” Graham said. “She’s probably exhausted, come to think of it. Might as well let her rest while she can’t have us running around and saving people.”

“You’re right,” Ryan and Yaz answered.

The fam went about their day as usual. Well, “usual” for a quarantine. The boys played video games, while Yaz spent hours in the library, reading a couple of Shakespeare plays.

It was around 2pm when Yaz realized the Doctor was still presumably asleep. Both a little worried and sad about not getting to spend as much time with her friend as she hoped, Yaz decided to go and wake the Doctor up. “D’you mind showing me—,“she wanted to ask the TARDIS where her friend’s bedroom was. The floor lit up, showing her the way, as if the ship knew what she was going to ask her. “Thank you.”

When she got in front of the room, the door was ajar. She gave a soft knock to the door and slowly approached, peeking inside to see if the Doctor had reacted to the sound. The sight her eyes laid upon took her breath away. The Doctor, wearing a tank top, was sound asleep in fetal position, blond curls highlighting the soft features of her face. Yaz stared at her for a while, wondering what to do. It was so out of character for the Doctor to be sleeping so late in the day, but then again, can it really be considered as “out of character” when you’re stuck isolating in a space-and-time ship for two weeks? Maybe the following days were just going to be weird. Maybe the Doctor was going to sleep the whole time. Who knows?

“’Morning, Yaz,” the Doctor said, eyes still closed.

“Oh my goodness, Doctor! You scared me!” She dared to enter the Time Lord’s room. It was cozy and colorful, just like her friend. “Sorry. Felt bad for waking you up, but it’s getting late and I was getting worried…”

“Late? What time is it?” The Doctor was suddenly alarmed.

Yaz took a look at her phone. “A quarter past two. Earth time. Well, Sheffield time.”

“Oh, no, no, no. This isn’t good,” the blond woman jumped out of the bed in a hurry. “Can’t be in bed so late, I’ll be grumpy. Oh, I hate being grumpy.”

“Hey,” Yaz rested her hands on her friend’s shoulders to comfort her. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re not used to doing virtually nothing, you need adapting is all.”

The Doctor froze, her head going left and right, taking in the fact her friend’s soft hands were resting on her bare shoulders. She took a deep breath and looked at Yaz. The look on her friend’s face calmed her down, just as much as what she had told her did. Yet, a warm, tingly feeling remained; a feeling she had felt more than once while looking at her companion. “Can’t have a universe with no Yaz,” she reminded herself of the first time she felt like this. When Yaz had asked her to visit her Nani, she knew she was done for. She said yes without weighing the consequences of her actions, and it was too late when she realized this one adventure could destroy her best friend’s timeline.

That day in the Punjab showed her the multitude of Yaz’s qualities. Oh, brilliant Yaz. The strength in her vulnerability, her constant curiosity, her desire to learn and discover, the need to understand the universe. On that fateful day of August 1947, the Doctor saw a spark in her friend’s eyes that struck her to her core. In there, she saw the depth of the universe, and she knew why she couldn’t bear the thought of living in a universe without her friend. Yaz was, in a way, her universe. That is when she closed herself off to the fam. She started brushing off her feelings, pretending to herself she was too busy to care. Now that she had all the time in the world, she knew she was simply scared.

“Thank you, Yasmin Khan,” she hugged her friend. 

Both women felt a flutter in their stomach but decided not to say a thing and enjoy the moment.

“This is nice,” Yaz said. “You should do it more often.”

“Oi! I do it all the time. I’m a hugger,” the Doctor claimed. “Am I?” She broke the hug, nose scrunching. “Yeah, yeah I am,” she said as she hugged Yaz again. “Definitely a Yaz hugger. I’ll have to check with the boys later.” Her lips pursed as she realized what she had just said.

Yaz laughed, her face getting hotter by the second. She composed herself before finally breaking the hug, looking at her friend. “Now, it’s getting late. Gotta get out of here to enjoy the day a little!” She took her friend’s hand in her own and dragged her out of the bedroom.

“But why?” The Doctor whined. “There’s nothing to do!”

“We’ve had that conversation yesterday,” Yaz said. “There’s plenty of stuff here to entertain us for decades! Come on!”

“Where do you wanna go, Yasmin Khan?”

“I was thinking the library, maybe? I love it there.”

“Oh! Never pictured you as a library type of gal. Interesting,” the Doctor’s face turning to a soft shade of pink.

“I like to think of myself as a surprising gal, really,” Yaz answered, a big smile on her face.

“All right, then. Off we go!”

The two women walked side by side to the TARDIS’ library. They sat on a big, purple couch, and Yaz picked up the play she was reading before she headed to the Doctor’s room: Twelfth Night.

“Shakespeare!” The Doctor screamed. “A really nice man, that Will. Martha and I taught him a Harry Potter spell by mistake. You’ll be happy to know that William Shakespeare himself knows about _Expelliarmus_.”

Yaz grinned at her friend, then frowned a little. “Martha?”

“An old friend of mine. Last I’ve heard of her, she was working at UNIT,” the Doctor said simply. “She was great.”

She knew her friend had travelled with other people before the fam, but she always longed to know more about them – the people that came before her. She knew how secretive the Doctor was, though, and didn’t ask for more information on Martha. She’d hear more about her eventually, Yaz figured.

The Doctor was getting restless, walking around the library, opening and closing every single book her hands touched. Suddenly, Yaz had a genius idea, and ran to her room.

“Where’s she gone?” The Doctor asked herself (and probably the TARDIS, too).

Yaz came running back, a bag full of yarn in one hand and four knitting needles in the other. The Doctor gives her a clueless look.

“I know this is gonna sound weird,” the young woman starts, “but when we decided to travel with you full time, I brought my knitting stuff with me in case I’d end up jet lagged, and needed something to do while everyone was asleep.” She sat back next to the Doctor on the couch. “Figured you’d end up doing something with your hands.”

The Doctor choked on air at what her companion had just said but was touched by the gesture. “I’d love to, Yaz. But I don’t know how. How to knit, I mean.”

“The day as finally come for me to teach you something, then? Amazing.”

“Yaz,” the Doctor said, her eyes showing both emotions and seriousness. “You teach me stuff every single day.” She takes a deep breath and look deep into her friend’s eyes. “But yeah, you get to teach this old alien how to knit.”

Yaz is giving her the brightest, prettiest smile she has ever seen. “You’ll love it! My Nani showed me how to do it.”

“Knitting with Yaz! Knitting like Nani Umbreen with Yaz! Love it already,” she excitedly said, taking the needles her friend was handing her. 

The two women spent the afternoon knitting. Yaz was secretly knitting the Doctor a jumper. The Doctor, on the other hand, was knitting a replica of one of her scarfs. Perhaps her sudden craving for Jelly Babies inspired her.


	3. Day 2 - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! First of all, sorry! It took forever for me to get this one out. Also, you'll notice it's Day 2 Part 2; I randomly got inspiration for this chapter but it didn't really work as a whole new day, so chapter 3 is actually chapter 2.5 I guess? Also, it's much longer than the other ones (sorry again? Can you tell I'm Canadian?) 
> 
> Anywayyyy I'll stop apologizing. I hope you enjoy this!

Their second afternoon of isolation in the TARDIS went by pretty quickly. Yaz wasn’t surprised when she looked up and saw the Doctor’s scarf was already about six feet long. The Doctor’s eyes were focused on her task, tongue sticking out of her mouth a little. Her hands were quick, skillful. Yaz stared at them for a little while, fascinated by their dexterity.

The Doctor could feel her friend’s eyes on her, like a tingle on the back of her neck. She smiled to herself, imagining what would happen when she’d finally decide to look up and meet Yaz’s beautiful brown eyes. The Doctor pictured herself looking up, with Yaz’s face inches away from her. Their eyes meeting. Hands touching each other’s faces. Kissing.

“ _What am I doing?_ ” The Doctor asked herself. “ _Can’t go around getting a crush on Yaz._ ” She forced herself to focus on her scarf again, trying to forget about her own thoughts, her own wants, her own needs.

Yaz noticed the Doctor’s non-verbal cues changing all of a sudden, which prompted her to look at her even more intensely. She took a deep breath and smirked at her friend, who was trying her best to figure out the best move to salvage the scarf she kept knitting (unsuccessfully) while losing herself in her thoughts. 

“ _God, she’s adorable_ ,” Yaz thought. She cursed herself for thinking the unspeakable. “ _What on Earth do you think you’re doing, Kahn?_ ” It truly felt like she would spend the rest of her life slowly but surely falling for her best friend and hating herself for it. Acknowledging these thoughts, even to herself, was painful… and scary and surprising and amazing and so, so much more.

The Doctor took a deep breath. She looked up, as if she knew exactly what went through Yaz’s mind (except she didn’t). Green met brown. In a matter of seconds, Yaz was blushing, instantly looking away for fear of her thoughts being heard. The Time Lord, noticing her friend’s behaviour, wondered if maybe her own train of thoughts had been revealed through her now clumsy knitting skills. “ _Deep breath, Doctor. You’re fine_ ,” she told herself. “ _Say something_.”

She had a stroke of genius. “Wanna watch a movie tonight?” The Doctor asked.

“Just– just the two of us?”

“I– yeah! Well, unless you’d rather not,” the Doctor started. “I’m sure the boys would enjoy it, actually. Maybe we should ask them.”

“ _Oh, no, no, no. Please let’s not_.” Yaz thought. She knew she had to find a way to not have the boys intrude their movie night. Not that she doesn’t love them, far from it, “No!” Yaz almost shouted. Her answer took the blonde by surprise.

“What?” The Doctor’s eyes were wide, cluelessly looking at her friend.

“I mean– nah,” Yaz said, trying to keep her composure. “I’m sure they’ve already got plans. Plus, you did mention yesterday you wanted us to have a sleepover, didn’t ya?” Yaz smiled. “Movie is mandatory for a successful sleepover.”

“You’re right!” The Doctor beamed at her friend. “A movie night AND a sleepover with Yaz? Amazin’.” She got up, stretching herself while jumping around in the library (only her could achieve such a thing).

“Maybe we should grab something to eat beforehand, though,” Yaz said. “Like, an actual meal.”

“Is this some sort of ritual preceding every sleepover?”

“Nah,” Yaz giggled. “It’s mostly a tactic to prevent us from eating every single snack the TARDIS can hold.”

“Sad,” The Doctor started. “But smart.”

Yaz giggled a little and lead the way to the kitchen, where they found Graham, two sandwiches in one hand, a cup of tea in the other.

“Hi Yaz, Doc!” He smiled at them. “I was getting hungry, me,” he said, showing them his improvised dinner. “You know how it is.”

“Oh yeah we do,” they both answered in synch. The women looked at each other and started laughing.

“Well, you two are really vibin’, as you youngsters say. I’ll leave you to it. See ya ‘round!”

“Bye Graham!” Yaz said, while the Doctor waved at him. The laughed again.

“Now, what’s the best pre-sleepover meal you’ve ever had?”

“I mean, a pizza is always a solid option if you ask me.”

The Doctor’s facial expression instantly changed; she clearly couldn’t wait for that pizza. “I think there’s a few dozens of frozen pizzas somewhere on the ship,” the Time Lord said.

“Amazing! I like to make my pizzas myself, but to be really honest with ya, I kinda feel lazy right now,” Yaz said. “I don’t know if it’s this whole ‘being stuck in the TARDIS’ thing or what – not that I don’t appreciate being here, could definitely be a lot worse –, but I feel a little weird, ya know?”

“Oh yeah, I know,” the Doctor said, hand on Yaz’s shoulder. “It’s a weird thing, isolating. You’re a little out of touch with yourself, but in such a subtle way you can barely put a word on it, but strongly feel it.”

“Yeah.” Yaz looked down. She hadn’t realized that this slight change in their routine had a small, yet significant impact on her.

“Come here,” the Doctor held Yaz close to her chest, her reassuring heartbeats letting the younger woman know everything would be okay. And Yaz truly believed it.

When they let go of each other, both women started getting themselves ready for their girls night. The Doctor threw a pizza in the oven – not forgetting to put timer thanks to Yaz. Their next step was getting changed into their comfiest pajamas. For Yaz, it was a white t-shirt and starry boxers. The Doctor was already quite comfortable in her tank top and her usual trousers (which she had slept in the previous night, apparently), but she still changed herself and opted for another tank top and a pair of sports shorts.

They met in the console room, sporting their new attires. The view of the other both took their breaths away.

“You look—” the Doctor choked on air. “Comfy. You look comfy.”

Yaz knew how the Doctor could be awkward at times, so she didn’t think much of her friend’s comment, nor the tone of it. “Thanks, you too!” They smiled at each other.

Yaz focused on the task ahead: making sure their girls night would be memorable. The headed back to the kitchen. The pizza was almost ready, and Yaz busied herself choosing the best snacks while waiting for the timer to ring.

“All right!” Yaz started. “We have chocolate chips cookies, tortilla chips, salsa con queso, candies, some more candies, and—”

“CUSTARD CREAMS!” The Doctor was jumping around, taking the pack of custard creams out of Yaz’s hands.

“Dinner is almost ready, so why don’t you go set all of this up in one of the living rooms? I’ll bring the pizza and sodas in a few minutes.”

“Will do,” the Doctor said almost solemnly.

The Doctor balanced all the snacks in her hands and made her way to the closest living room. As she walked around in the TARDIS, she thought about those blanket forts she had seen in movies, and how fun and cozy they look. “ _It would be great to have a sleepover in one of these_ ,” she thought.

When she entered the room, she saw one of her many purple sofas waiting for her and on it, thanks to the TARDIS telepathic circuit, a pile of white bed sheets and a few sets of fairy lights.

“Oh, you amazing girl!”

She dropped the snacks on the coffee table and got herself to work. In a matter of minute, she had a mental blueprint of what her creation would look like. She quickly realized she would need more stuff to build the perfect fort, though, so she started running around the TARDIS to find all the necessary items – the ship definitely gave her a hand with that.

Once she had everything at her disposition, she busied herself to build the fort. For the first time in forever (or so it seemed), she was fully focused on the task ahead. An unknowing individual entering the room would have been surprised by the view offered to them; no one has ever been _so_ serious about building a fort.

She was hanging the fairy lights when Yaz entered the room with their pizza, two glasses, a bottle of some kind of off-brand space cola and freshly popped popcorn.

“Woah.”

“I’m almost done,” the Doctor said, still very serious about her fort-building effort. “ _Voilà_!”

Yaz dropped their dinner next to the snacks. “This is absolutely amazing, Doctor!” She walked around her friend’s creation. “It looks sturdy, too.”

“You know me, I’m not one to brag but I’m pretty sure a Dalek could throw itself on it and the whole thing would stay in place.”

“Not that I want this to happen,” Yaz started, “but brilliant.”

They set up all of their food in the fort and cozied themselves with extra blankets and pillows. Remote in one hand, pizza in the other, Yaz turn on the tv – which was at the perfect angle from the fort, proving that the Doctor thought of absolutely everything while conceptualizing her bed sheets masterpiece.

“What d’ya feel like watching?”

“I dunno,” the Doctor answered with a mouthful of pizza.

“Wanna have a laugh or cry your eyes out?”

Images of Gallifrey and the Master flashed the Doctor’s mind, the ghost from her past coming back to haunt her again. Her smile faltered for a second. She realized that if she started crying, she might never stop. “Ya know me, Yaz,” she started, over-acting her excitement, “always in for a good laugh, me!”

Yaz noticed her best friend’s mind going somewhere else – somewhere darker, scarier – for a few seconds. She was still dying to know what had made the Time Lord who she was now but couldn’t bring herself to insist. The one time the fam had inquired the Doctor about her past, it felt like she was going to shut them out forever… like she was going to drop them in Sheffield and never come back for them. Not out of frustration, but out of fear of opening up, of being found out. The most incredible person in the universe was scared of her weaknesses and hiding them from her own friends. “ _Such a human thing to do,_ ” Yaz thought.

“All right, something funny…” The younger woman started browsing the infinity that is the TARDIS’ streaming system, going step by step: Earth movies, pre-2020 movies – the Doctor had told them a while back that, even if they tried, the TARDIS would never let them watch stuff that wasn’t out yet in “their time”. Yaz scrolled for a minute in the ‘comedy’ genre. “Oh, I know just the one. You’ll love it.” She selected the movie _Nanny McPhee._

“Ooh! Interesting,” the Doctor said. “I love nannies. Nannies are brilliant. One of my grandmas was one when she was younger, actually. Grandma number two… She went by the name Mary. Her bag was bigger on the inside.”

Yaz stared at her for a moment, then turned her focus to the movie. It took a few minutes for the Doctor to settle and actually focus on the movie. When she finally stopped fidgeting, though, she gently rested her head on Yaz’s shoulder while mindlessly eating custard creams. Yaz had never seen her so still and was suddenly very conscious of her friend’s presence by her side. It made it hard for her to focus on the movie, but the Doctor’s reaction to it helped grounding her in the present and enjoying the moment. The Time Lord laughed out loud often. Sometimes, she’d laugh and look at Yaz in the eyes, and her contagious laughter alone made the younger woman laugh even harder.

When Mr. Brown and Evangeline realized they loved each other, the Doctor softened, quickly wiping a tear on her cheek. Yaz pretended she hadn’t noticed and wiped her own tear as subtly as she could. “They’re so adorable,” the Doctor said quietly.

The movie ended, and the Doctor was instantly back to her excitable self. “Best movie ever! Best sleepover ever! I love it!”

Yaz laughed. “We’re not even done yet! Look at all the snacks we have to eat.”

“What should we do next, then?” the Doctor asked. “OH! I know!”

“What d’you have in mind, Doctor?”

“Do you have those masks that make your face super soft? I remember seeing an ad at some point in time. I think I’d like to try it,” the Doctor said. “Feels very sleepover worthy.”

“Great idea! I have some in my room. I’ll be right back!”

Yaz got out of their fort and ran to her room. She took the clay mask container, and then looked around to see if there was something else that would be “sleepover worthy”, as the Doctor had put it. She saw a few bottles of nail polish on a shelf. “Bingo!”

When Yaz got back, the Doctor was eating yet another slice of pizza. She smiled through her mouthful, her eyes lighting up when she saw all the things Yaz had brought back with her.

“All right,” Yaz said, entering the fort. “A face mask and a bunch of nail polish for my favorite Time Lord.”

The Doctor had her glass of soda in one hand and the remainder of her pizza in the other, and she raised both in the air, a clear sign of eagerness. “I’M SO EXCITED,” she screamed.

Yaz laughed. “I can see that!” She opened the clay container and started working her way through her face with the substance.

The Doctor devoured the rest of her pizza slice and threw her fingers in the container, giggling with excitement. She took a moment to observe Yaz’s technique – starting from the neck and going up – which made the younger woman a little self-conscious of her every move.

The Time Lord slowly put the clay on her face, but quickly got tired of it. She took a bunch of it on both of her hands and threw It on her own face.

“Oh my God, Doctor!” The culprit looked at her friend in shock, very aware of the mistake she had made. The view was quite amazing, frankly: the Doctor was nothing but a blob of clay with two distressed eyes. Yaz couldn’t help herself and started laughing. Her breath was shortened by the intensity of her laugh, and her own mask was getting ruined by her laughter, but she couldn’t care less. The Doctor joined her.

“I—” Yaz laughed, “I’ll help you.”

She started removing the extra clay with her fingers and tried her best to even out her friend’s mess. She was shaking a little – “ _Stop shaking, Khan_ ,” she thought – and took a deep breath to keep her focus straight.

“You okay, Yaz?”

“Oh, yeah! Just wondering what you’d do without me,” she joked. “ _Good save, Khan_.”

The Doctor sighed. “That’s what I ask myself every single day.”

The both of them looked at each other in silence, taking in the Doctor’s comment. Yaz smirked at her before focusing on her friend’s messy clay mask.

“ _Can’t you just shut up?_ ” the Time Lord thought. “ _Stop being such a sap_.”

The Doctor’s face mask was finally adequate. “You look much better now,” Yaz said. “Here, I’ll show you.” She got her phone out of her pocket and quickly took a photo of the Time Lord. She smiled looking at it.

“Oi! You can’t take pictures of me like this. Not fair!”

“It’s not that bad, look!” She turned her phone to the Doctor, who got a little scared of herself.

“I look like a Sontaran!” She took Yaz’s phone and opened the camera. When she tried to take a picture, Yaz took the phone from her hands. “Oi!”

“Wait, I have a better idea,” she said, flipping the camera to selfie mode. “Come here.” She aimed the camera at the two of them, shaking a little (but not enough for the Doctor to notice, she hoped). The Time Lord started making funny faces, which instantly made Yaz a lot more comfortable. She took a few silly pictures of them, and one or two with sincere, sweet smiles.

“This is brilliant,” the Doctor claimed.

“Yeah, it really is,” she said, smiling at her friend.

“I saw you come in with nail polish,” the Time Lord started. “Can you do my nails, Yaz?”

“I’d love to, Doctor.”

They spent the rest of the night hanging out in their fort, painting each other’s nails. Hard to believe, but Yaz had let the Doctor paint one of her hands – and it didn’t even go half as bad as they both thought it would.

The next morning, the Doctor woke up with blue, sparkly nails, a very soft face, and lighter, happier hearts. 


	4. Day 3

Their third day on TARDIS was pretty uneventful. Well, “technically uneventful”, if you will. Because, the reality of it was very different. Both Yaz and the Doctor woke up in their fort that morning, nails colored and faces softer than ever.

When Yaz woke up, she was especially cozy. Eyes still closed, she attributed the quality of her sleep to a fun night with her best friend and the nostalgia of sleeping in a blanket fort. She then proceeded to stretch but felt trapped. Startled, she opened her eyes.

She was nested in the Doctor’s arms, one of her own resting over the Time Lord’s chest. “ _Shit_ ,” she thought. She untangled herself from her position. Though she was comfortable, she couldn’t – and wouldn’t – take advantage of it. She cautiously got out of the fort, and slowly walked toward the door. Yaz finally allowed herself to breathe, only realizing now that she had been rendered breathless by the circumstances. She left the living room, looking back at the fort one last time. Her heart was pounding in her chest at such a rhythm that she thought that maybe she had grown a second one during the night.

Yaz was walked along the corridor leading to a kitchen, yet she kept looking back at the living room door. Part of her was considering simply walking back in that fort, back in the Doctor’s arms, as if nothing had happened. As if she had never woken up to ruin the moment. She was yearning for the comfort she felt for mere seconds before reality hit her in the face.

“ _It’s never gonna happen Yaz, get over it_.” Her mind was clear, practical. Nothing like her heart.

Once she entered the kitchen, she put the kettle on. She couldn’t bring herself to eat anything – she didn’t know if it was because of the previous night’s endless snacks or her morning adventure, but she wasn’t feeling particularly hungry. Once her tea was ready, she sat at the dining table, staring at the wall in front of her.

“ _How come she spent the night sleeping… again?_ ” Yaz wondered, well aware of the Time Lord’s unusual sleep patterns. “ _Doesn’t matter_ ,” she convinced herself. They ended up in each other’s arms because they were in a small space, end of the story. Nothing more, nothing less. Just facts. “ _Just. Facts_.”

In the living room, meters away from the clueless human, the Time Lord was pondering the events of the previous night. After applying their nail polish – “Ooh! Blue sparkly nails!” the Doctor remembered –, they had decided to put some TV show on while it dried. The Time Lord couldn’t remember the name of it, but she remembered Yaz freaked out because she thought one of the main actresses looked a lot like her.

***

_“Doctor! You look like Beth Latimer!” Yaz screamed, pointing at the TV._

_“Me? Nooooo, I look nothing like her,” she said, not entirely sure she remembered what her face actually looked like now that she wasn’t the old Scotsman anymore._

_“Stop it, you’re literally Beth Latimer.” On the screen, the Latimer lady said something. “You even_ sound _like her!”_

***

At some point in the night, she felt Yaz’s head fall on her shoulder. She fought the urge to hold her in her arms. She could literally feel herself falling for Yaz with every passing day, and cursed herself for it. She cursed her hearts, too. “ _It’s like whenever I tell myself I can’t fall for someone you guys just… get a mind of your own!_ ”

She fell asleep not long after, the scent of her friend’s hair inviting her in the realm of peaceful dreams. She didn’t sleep much, though – probably an hour or two, at the most. When she woke up, her hearts felt light, happy. She felt a weight on her chest. It wasn’t uncomfortable, though. It was only unusual. Very unusual.

Her hand was mindlessly playing with hair that wasn’t her own.

She opened her eyes slowly and saw her friend’s hand resting on her stomach. Her breath hitched. She couldn’t help but smile softly even though her hearts were threatening to explode in her chest. Her eyes fell on Yaz. Sweet Yaz, peacefully nested in the crook of her arm.

The Doctor wondered what to do. Stay or go? Wait for Yaz to see how well they fit together? Or act as if she had never woken up, never seen how their bodies naturally entwined in their slumber?

“ _Fight or flight_ ,” the Doctor thought. She could either run away from this – from Yaz, the peace, the comfort –, or she could stay. Enjoy it while it lasts. Tell the truth… now or later? “ _Probably later_ ,” she thought. She allowed herself to take in the moment, feel Yaz’s body against hers. In-between fight and flight, she chose to live. “ _Just this once_.”

She closed her eyes.

Yaz’s hand moved a little.

Her hearts started beating faster. 

A beat. And she was gone.

The Time Lord opened her eyes.

She wished she could’ve lived the moment a little longer, enjoy Yaz’s unconscious touch some more. But one thing she knew for sure, “ _No more fleeing._ _I’ll fight for you, Yasmin Khan_.”

The Doctor laid there for a while. When she eventually emerged from their blanket fort, she went straight to her room and jumped in the shower. Her mind was all over the place; she thought of Yaz, of their sleepover, of the scent of her friend’s hair – vanilla with a hint of cinnamon. She thought of the weight that finally got lifted off her shoulders the moment she decided she would stop running away from the one person who made her existence worthwhile.

Yaz was still in the kitchen when she heard the living room door open. She froze for a moment, until she realized the Doctor’s steps were headed in the opposite direction. She wanted to see her – of course she did – but she also lost all sense of how to act around the Time Lord. “ _You really had to go out there and fall for your friend, who also happens to be an alien?_ ” Yaz stopped breathing for a second. “ _I bloody fell for her. Shit_.”

She had tried for so long to stop herself from _thinking_ it, but her mind finally caught up with her heart. She was scared senseless but was breathing a little easier. She didn’t feel the need to hide herself behind excuses and false pretenses anymore.

“ _Way to deal with being quarantined_.” Yaz laughed under her breath.

The rest of the day was, indeed, pretty uneventful.

Graham insisted on the four of them spending some time together, and they all decided to hang out for a few hours to play board games.

Yaz stole a few glances at the Doctor, thinking she was going unnoticed. Ryan wasn’t fooled, though; he saw how Yaz’s look lingered in the Time Lord’s direction for a few seconds too long.

Sitting opposite her was the Doctor, a lot calmer than usual. Serene, even.

“You all right there, Doc?” Graham asked. “You’re quiet.”

“Me? I’m all right, Graham,” she started. “Right as rain.” And she was. Now that she didn’t have to live in the constant battlefield of her mind trying to mute her hearts, she was finally at peace with herself. Her happy-go-lucky nature would come back sooner rather than later; that was her way of coping with the years of suffering she had been through. For a moment, though, she was able to take everything in, lifting the mask she had grown accustomed to wear. She was at peace. She looked at her friends, her eyes finally falling on Yaz. She smiled.

After yet another game of Uno, the fam decided to go about their day. The Doctor headed out so quickly that none of them had the chance to ask her what she was up to, Yaz included. Graham looked at the Time Lord suspiciously, wondering what was up with her. He knew better than to follow her, though, so he headed to the kitchen to get himself a snack.

The younger woman, also wondering what was going on with her now silent friend, decided to walk back to her room to take a breather. Someone had other plans for her, though. Indeed, when Ryan saw her leave the room, he took her hand to stop her in her steps.

“What’s up, Ryan?” Yaz asked, bothered by the gesture. She wanted to be alone.

“No, no. Don’t _what’s up_ me, I’m _what’s up-ing_ you, What’s up, Yaz?” He looked at her, eyebrows raised. He also had this little smirk… Infuriating. Funny. Yaz didn’t know what to think of it.

“What d’ya mean?”

“Come on, I’ve seen you looking at her,” he said. “Staring at her, more like.”

Yaz stared at him, not able to get a word out of her mouth. She couldn’t care less about the fact she hadn’t been subtle. All she could think was —

“I don’t know what to do,” she said quietly, eyes at her feet. Ryan’s smirk was gone. He was visibly worried. He didn’t need to verbalize his worry, Yaz saw it in his eyes. She kept going. “I— I woke up in the Doctor’s arms this morning,” she said.

Ryan looked at her in shock, coming to his own conclusions. “You guys, uh…”

“No! God, no. No,” Yaz was panicking a little. How do you explain one of your best friends you’re falling for your other best friend and it’s scaring the hell out of you?

“Okay,” he started. “Well, what do you think?”

“What do I think?” Yaz looked at him in the eyes, her own getting watery. “I think anything has ever felt so _right_ in my life before.” She smiled softly, wiping a stray tear off her cheek. “I’ve never been so scared before, but I’ve never wanted anything more. That’s what I think.”

Ryan looked at her for a moment. He offered her a big smile, and wrapped her into a hug. “I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t worry about it too much.”

“I feel like I’ve been worrying about this from the moment I laid my eyes on her,” she scoffed. “I don’t wanna get hurt again.”

He broke the hug to look at her. “Follow your heart, Yaz,” he said. “Not everyone out here is like Izzy Flint, especially not the Doctor.”

For the first time in forever, the mention of Izzy Flint didn’t put a weight on her shoulders she wasn’t willing to bear. As if the Doctor’s name alone could protect her from the memories involving her bully. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“I know,” he laughed.

They both headed out of the room. Before leaving, Yaz gave a friendly punch to Ryan’s arm. “Thanks, mate,” she said. “You’re the best.”

“I’m really proud of you, you know?”

They smiled at each other before going their own way.

When Yaz reached her bedroom, she let herself fall on her bed. She stared at the ceiling while having a silent conversation with the ship.

“ _You know what’s up, don’t you? Even if you couldn’t read my mind – which you clearly can – you would definitely know what’s up after seeing us this morning. Can I… Can I ask you for advice? I mean, you know her. Like, properly know her. I’m bound to get my heart broken, am I not? I know, this is insane. But why does it feel so natural and real and why is it all I’ve ever needed? Why is she all I’ve ever needed?_ ”

Yaz sighed deeply.

“ _Thanks for listening._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! Yes, I wrote Jodie into the Whoniverse (Jodie-verse?). Sorry not sorry.  
> Also, just so you know, I might not write a chapter for all 14 days of their quarantine just bc some days are definitely gonna be a little boring, ya know? Maybe I'll write flashbacks instead bc I really don't wanna bore you guys out (and let's be real, I don't wanna bore myself out either).  
> Hope you guys enjoyed this!


	5. Day 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry, it's been a while. I tried to write something a little angstier than what I'm used to... I'm not entirely convinced, but it felt necessary.

The Doctor was sitting on the floor, her head resting on the console, facing the TARDIS’ door. It had been a week. A whole week stranded in the TARDIS. She loved spending time with her fam and her beloved ship, but the past few days had been rough. The boys were fine; Ryan was gaming, while his grandfather watched him, eating a snack (or a meal, or dessert…). Most often than not, he would end up playing with him. According to him, he was getting quite good at FIFA.

Yaz, though… that was a different story. Strong, fierce, curious Yaz was now introverted Yaz. After their sleepover, the young woman withdrew herself from the Doctor’s daily life; an attitude the Time Lord couldn’t grasp. Especially not while isolating on a ship; the TARDIS may be enormous – almost infinite, really –, but the fact that the two women had not bumped into each other once in the past few days very well may be an exploit. That, or the ship was complicit.

Objectively, she knew they had a great time together. Why had everything changed all of a sudden?

“What did I do wrong, old girl?” The Doctor asked her ship. Her face in her hands, she listened to her ship’s answer. “What do you mean, I didn’t do anything wrong? Clearly, I did,” she said. “Otherwise she wouldn’t be hiding away in her room,” she added softly. She groaned, and let her whole body fall dramatically on the floor of the ship.

“Help me,” the Doctor whined. “What?” She propped herself up to properly scold the TARDIS for what she had said, and accidentally hit her head on the console. “Ow! Don’t call me a drama queen! I’m not a drama queen.” She pondered for a moment. “Am I?”

In her bedroom, Yaz was taking a look at the selfies they had taken during their sleepover. She couldn’t stop looking at one particular photo she took that gave her heart a little tug every single time her eyes fell upon it: both their faces were full of clay, but she could clearly see the way the Doctor looked at her.

There was something in the Time Lord’s look, a spark in her eyes that spoke more than words could tell. Yaz felt like she had seen that look before, but always convinced herself she was seeing what she wanted to see. But now there was supporting evidence, and Yaz did not know what to make of it. For all she knew, maybe she was just seeing what she wanted to see still.

Waking up in the Time Lord’s arms really triggered something in her. Suddenly, her feelings were too real to ignore. If she was honest with herself, that is exactly what she had been doing for months, now. And so, she spent days rehearsing what she was going to tell the Doctor, how she was going to say it. “ _Hey. I think I’m falling for you and I may have realized when I woke up after we accidentally cuddled while we were asleep_.” Too dorky. “ _When I look at you it feels like my whole universe is collapsing and rebuilding itself stronger and much, much better_.” Too cheesy. “ _Doctor, I’m in love with you. Please, don’t kick me out._ ” Too real. Way too real.

“You’re gonna have to get out of here one day, Khan,” the young woman told herself. There was a soft knock on her door. She sighed. “Yeah?”

“ _Please, don’t be her_ ,” she thought.

“Hey Yaz. Can I come in?”

It was Ryan. “ _Thank God_.” She was relieved; she was not ready to have that conversation she kept repeating in her head. Not today.

“Sure, it’s open.”

Ryan entered the room and saw Yaz in a fetal position on her bed.

“Woah. You okay there, Yaz?”

“No,” she whined. “I hate this.”

“Hate what?” He laughed at how dramatic his best friend sounded.

“Oi! Don’t laugh at me,” she scolded him, propping herself up on her bed. “I hate the fact I don’t know how to act around the Doctor anymore. I’m overthinking it.”

“Yeah, you are,” he said, matter-of-factly. “Things were going well between the two of you. Just… Let things flow.”

Yaz cocked her head, cluelessly looking at him. “Easier said than done, mate.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know that. But trust your guts, Yaz. Anyway, we’re stuck here for another week,” he said. “Might as well enjoy yourself a little,” he smiled at her.

“Oi! Ryan!” She let herself fall on her bed.

He laughed at her, but his smile was earnest. All he wanted was for his best friend to be happy. And, though falling in love with a Time Lord probably was far from an easy thing to deal with, Yaz’s eyes spoke for themselves. It was clear to him that what she felt for the Doctor was much more than a crush. He had noticed how infatuated Yaz was pretty early on in their travels. Not that it had been obvious, but Yaz and him had known each other for so long that he could read her like an open book at times. Yaz’s crush was long gone, though. Now, it was something much deeper. Actually, ever since the fam had visited Umbreen in 1947, it was like something had shifted between the two of them.

The Doctor was not so easy to read, though – being an alien and all that – but Ryan was very aware that she looked at Yaz differently. He could not explain how he knew it, but he certainly felt it. Not that she liked Graham and him less, but it was different.

“Now, you gonna get out of here or what?” He took her hands in his and guided her out of bed. “Go and face your demons.”

“I can’t do this,” the Doctor said, still alone in the TARDIS console room. “I need to move.”

She heard steps coming from behind.

“Hey Doc, everything all right?”

Graham.

She turned around and saw him, looking at her in worry, a bowl of ice cream in his hands.

“I need to do something, Graham,” she jumped to her feet, running to him. “I _need_ it!”

“Well,” he started, “I saw Ryan play that saber game on his thing, the other day. Seems like a proper workout, if you ask me.”

“Saber game,” she looked at him intensely. “Virtual reality saber game?”

“Yeah–,“ he barely had the time to answer, the Doctor was running toward the nearest living room. He looked at her, dumbfounded.

She entered the room, and saw the remains of her sleepover with Yaz. The food was gone – she had made an effort to clean up their mess –, but the fort remained almost intact.

Suddenly, she couldn’t bear the sight of that stupid thing. She slowly approached her creation, fire in her eyes. The Oncoming Storm, the Time Lord Victorious… None of that mattered. She wasn’t any of those now, but someone entirely different. Someone new. The Doctor was at peace with herself and her mistakes, unlike her past selves. Yet, she had not quite reached that point with her how feelings. She wanted to be better, but watching Yaz walk away from her without reason physically pained her.

Her right foot had a mind of its own and kicked the sheets of her (their) beloved fort. The whole thing tumbled down, some parts even flying all over the room. The Time Lord was shaking a little. She took the bundle of fabrics and fairy lights in her hands and threw it at the other end of the room before finally setting up her game.

VR headset on her head, controllers in her hands, the Doctor was finally ready to blow off some steam. Song after song, she smashed through those virtual cubes with determination. She quickly got better and quicker, the game becoming a second nature.

As she was playing, her brain was going in overdrive. Part of it was fully focused on the game, the movements, the perfect pace to hit the cubes. The other part of her mind was wandering between images of Yaz and her, and what the future possibly held in store for the two of them: happiness, sadness, fear… It was too much, yet not enough. She was angry and helpless, and she was smashing, and smashing, while her heart was breaking.

Yaz had followed Ryan’s advice and got out of her room. She didn’t especially want to, but it felt a little immature to hide from her own feelings. There was no way she was going to get away with spending the next week in her room. And the truth is, it would not make things easier for her; she would end up wallowing in self-pity, which was far from what she actually needed.

She allowed herself to wander around the ship and ended up in front of the living room’s closed door. The room she had left in a hurry after their sleepover, instantly regretting it. She took a deep breath and entered the room.

The first thing she saw was their fort, or what was left of it. It laid at one end of the room in a meaningless pile of fabric. Looking at it felt like she was staring at her own broken heart.

Then, her eyes fell on the Doctor; her back was facing Yaz. The VR headset looked funny on her, even from that perspective, but Yaz was not laughing. The Doctor’s movements were precise, but also extremely rough. Almost violent, really. For someone who was usually so all-over-the-place, she was extremely focused.

Yaz felt uncomfortable, like she was intruding.

Suddenly, the Time Lord shouted. Yaz nearly jumped out of her skin, and immediately left the room, not bothering to figure out what had happened to her friend.

As the door closed, the Doctor vigorously removed her headset.

“This isn’t making me feel better at all, old girl,” she said to her TARDIS. “I need to talk to her.” She took a deep breath. “I don’t wanna lose her too.”


	6. Day 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY OH MY GOD  
> This chapter literally took forever to write. Between my summer course at uni, work, and moving out, let's just say my free time is basically nonexistent. Hopefully I'm back on track now (I did start writing the next chapter, so I have a good feeling about this.)
> 
> Enjoy xx
> 
> P.S.: Sorry if I make typos. I always make them and see them MONTHS after posting chapters online. Whoops.

Yaz was running in a dark corridor, presumably in the TARDIS. Where else could she be? She couldn’t see a thing, yet she could feel the walls surrounding her drawing nearer and nearer. The corridor laying before her was infinite, and her feet were moving from their own accord. Hopefully, they would lead her to the exit that would save her life.

Then, she heard a scream. It was the most horrible sound, and her heart broke instantly. She recognized the voice that echoed in the dark, though she had never heard it emit such a sound.

It was the Doctor, there was no doubt about it.

When Yaz looked back, her breath caught in her throat. She was still surrounded by darkness, but the other woman was surrounded by a halo of light. Yaz’s eyes could focus on her _and only her_. It seemed like a sick trick to mess up her mind.

The younger woman looked at pleading eyes. The Doctor was staring into her soul, taking her breath away. Those green eyes always had quite an effect on her, but this was different. It always felt like, by looking into the Doctor’s eyes, she was looking at the infinity of what her future could be. It was always soft and kind; a symbol of hope. But now, it felt like entering a pool of misery and fear.

In a matter of seconds, the life that inhabited those emerald-like orbs was gone.

Yaz woke up in a jolt, tears streaming down her face.

***

The Doctor fell to her knees, screaming at the woman running away from her, begging her to stop. For once in her life, though, no sound was coming out of her mouth. She looked at her companion, _her Yaz_ , running away from her forever. The younger woman did not even take a second to look back one last time, to acknowledge the hurt in the eyes of the woman who was once the best person she had ever met.

Then, in a strange turn of event, they teleported to a new location. The second she looked up, the Doctor knew where they had ended up. If the fiery skies had not given it away, the destroyed Citadel would have: Gallifrey.

Yaz was looking at her with a newfound disdain. “You failed them, Doctor. How dare you still call yourself _that_ , after all the destruction that came on your path?”

“Yaz, please!” Her voice surprised her. “Let me ex—”

“You failed us, Doctor. All of us.”

The faces of her old friends came flashing through her mind, each one of them hitting her like bullets would in the middle of her chest.

The Time Lord woke up screaming, disoriented. It took a few second for her to understand what had just happened: it was all a dream. She was still in her trusty TARDIS, who was trying to reassure her with calm beeping sounds.

“ _Deep breaths_ ,” she thought.

She took a look at her surroundings – she was sat on the floor of the living room, head resting on the coffee table. “Can’t believe I fell asleep… And here of all places.” She looked at the VR headset sat on her left, almost nagging at her. “At least I had the decency to remove that thing before falling asleep.” She dragged herself to the purple couch.

“Yeah, I know I’ve been playing that thing too much,” she told her TARDIS. “Can’t bring myself to do anything else, me.” She stretched her arms. “I’m now an Expert+, though! That’s quite the expertise if you ask me.”

The TARDIS emitted a few annoyed beeps. The Doctor’s mood, already quite dark, darkened abruptly. “Yeah, she was in my nightmare. ‘Course she was.” A beat. “I’m afraid she’s gonna walk away once we’re back in Sheffield.”

She heard soft steps coming her way, and suddenly felt incredibly exposed; whoever was on their way here had clearly been awoken by her screams. 

After an eternity, the steps stopped. The Doctor estimated that the one companion who had been woken up by her scream was standing right behind the door to the living room. The door was behind her back, and she was too afraid to look when she finally heard it creaking open.

“Are you all right, Doctor?”

Yaz.

Of course, it was going to be Yaz out of all of them; her bedroom was the closest to this specific living room. Was it fate, or was the TARDIS mingling again?

The Doctor looked at her feet. “Sorry I woke you up, Yaz.”

“Y’didn’t. I just woke up from a nightmare, actually.”

The Doctor tempted a look at her friend – was she her friend anymore? What she saw broke her hearts more than her nightmare had. Yaz’s sweet brown eyes were red and puffy, her stare elusive.

She opened up her arms in an instant. “Oh, Yaz. Come here.” The younger woman slowly walked her way to the couch, straight into the Doctor’s embrace. “D’ya wanna talk about it?”

Brown met green. The Doctor could see something new in Yaz’s eyes: a sparkle of wisdom she had only seen in people who had suffered unbearable pain.

“I’d rather not, I think.”

They stayed in silence for a little while, holding each other. Yaz could feel the Doctor’s heartbeats and found comfort in the pulses. The regular beat calmed her down. Being next to her friend calmed her, too. That nightmare had shaken her to her core, and it left her both empty and helpless. She had been unsuccessfully trying to fall back to sleep when she heard the echo of the Doctor’s scream. No matter her anxieties regarding the older woman, nothing could have stopped Yaz from running back to her after she heard it; it was too close to the one that haunted her sleep for her to ignore it. She had to go to her.

Yaz still had not gotten around to sit down with the Doctor and tell her why she had been so distant. She lacked the strength to say the words out loud, because saying them would change everything. She knew for certain she wanted the Time Lord to be in her life until her very last breath. Tonight was very much a proof of that, otherwise her subconscious would not have thrown those horrible images at her.

“I had a nightmare, too.”

“You did?” Yaz inquired, detaching herself from the Doctor’s embrace to look at her once more. “Wanna talk about it?”

The Doctor didn’t think before she opened her mouth. She stared at the wall facing her, avoiding Yaz’s stare, and just let the words flow. “You ran away from me.” She took a deep breath before looking straight at her companion. “We’ve been physically stuck in the TARDIS for a while now, but you’ve been running away from me for days, Yaz. The ship has never felt so big and so, so empty. Maybe I should let you run away for good before it’s too late.” 

Yaz’s breath hitched and a single tear fell on her cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lil angst here pals. 
> 
> See you all soon!


	7. Day 9 - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said the next update was gonna be posted quickly... my bad? Sorry? I won't make any promises for the next chapter, just in case.
> 
> Just so you know, this one is also really short.

_“The ship has never felt so big and so, so empty.”_

This was it. There was no way back; the young human could not run away and hide from this anymore. The moment had come for Yaz to open up. To admit everything, look into the Time Lord’s eyes and tell her that her heart cannot, could not find reason. That she fell completely and irrevocably in love with a near-timeless alien with two hearts big enough to fit the whole universe into them.

Yaz felt cornered, her anxiety rising to new extremes. But she knew this conversation was necessary. Once their quarantine was over, though, she would have to leave all of this behind – their adventures, the TARDIS, the Doctor. She still had so much of the universe to discover but, deep down, it was obvious to her there was no way for them to coexist and cohabit in this infinite ship once she had let down her guards regarding her feelings. She had a duty of care to her own heart, to protect it from further harm.

_“Maybe I should let you run away for good before it’s too late.”_

Yaz got up from the couch, looked around the room for an instant, before facing the Doctor. The older woman was still sat on the couch, staring at her with sorry eyes. Yaz was surprised. She had never expected the Doctor to fight for her to stay – she knew the older woman would respect her decision, as hard and hurtful it was – but she was surprised she was the one to make the call, to ask her to leave. The Doctor was doing it unwillingly, but Yaz wasn’t aware of this. It felt to her that the Time Lord was removing the last of her decision-making abilities, leaving her only to accept her faith. Maybe the empowerment she felt with the Doctor had finally come to an end.

“You want me to leave?” She took a deep breath. In her mind, she completed that sentence. “ _You want me to leave_ you,” is what she wanted to ask the woman sat before her.

“No, I don’t.” There was no hesitation. The hardness of her look hid an almost imperceptible despair.

A strange mix of hurt and relief flashed in Yaz’s eyes. But her voice was louder, clearer... scarier. “Then why would you say that?”

The Doctor got up and slowly approached Yaz, but stayed far enough as to not frighten her. Green met brown, and it felt like they were actually _seeing_ each other for the first time in so, so long. “Because I don’t wanna lose you, Yaz,” the Doctor said. “But it feels like I am.”

Yaz was taken aback by the comment. “You’re not losing me, Doctor. I’m—,” she doubted herself saying the words, “I’m right here.”

“Then why have you been hiding?” The Doctor’s voice got up a notch, out of frustration, or perhaps out of fear. Her eyes dropped to the ground in shame. “What did I do wrong?”

Yaz felt sorry for the woman standing in front of her. Of course, the Doctor was going to blame herself for this; it was her nature to take in the weight of the universe on her shoulders. The younger woman finally saw how her actions from the past few days had affected her friend. She had only seen glimpses of the degradation of the Doctor’s _joie de vivre_ in exponential levels since their sleepover night, but that should have been enough for her to stop and take action before it was too late. Yet, it never stopped her from putting her own fears and anxieties first.

Yaz was ashamed of herself. Her feelings had gotten in the way of what matters most: her relationship with the Doctor. The Doctor, as always, was taking the consequences in her stride. Because _this_ is who she is: she loves endlessly, in a multitude of ways. In that moment, Yaz knew for sure that she had yet to witness the extent of the Doctor’s ability to love.

Yaz couldn’t help but wonder if they would be standing here if she had stayed, that fateful morning. Yaz took a deep breath, trying to find the right words to say. “You didn’t do anything wrong, but I did.”

Her words surprised the Doctor. Cocking her head, worry took hold of her eyes. “What d’ya mean?” The older woman took another step closer, and their bodies were now mere inches from each other. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Yaz.”

“But I did, Doctor,” her voice, firm, cracked when she uttered the other woman’s name. Yaz’s look was intense, piercing its way through all the Doctor’s invisible layers. “I did what I always do: I ran away.”

As she said those words, a tear slowly made its way down her cheeks, and then another. It felt like Yaz had broken the dam – here she was, in the middle of a flood. A flood made from her tears and the love she tried to hold back for so long.

“I ran away because I—,“ a sob stopped her mid-sentence. “I don’t know what to do.” Her eyes dropped to the ground, one hand hiding her face from the Doctor. She could not run away anymore, but she felt the need to hide

The Doctor’s body moved imperceptibly, but she stopped herself just in time. She wanted to hug Yaz, and her body almost took control of her mind for an instant. That is, until she realized that _maybe_ a hug from her was far from what Yaz needed in that moment.

“Yaz,” the Doctor started. “Look at me.” She looked at the young woman, waiting for her to react to her voice, to what she had said. “Please.”

When she finally looked up, Yaz eyes looked empty and she seemed so, so tired.

“Good,” the Doctor said. “I’m not having a universe with a sad Yaz.” The younger woman smiled faintly at the echo of what the Doctor had once said to her. “Now,” the Time Lord said, slowly taking Yaz’s hands in hers, holding them as if they were the most precious object in all of time and space, “I need you to talk to me.” The Doctor’s thoughtful eyes laid into Yaz’s, exposing her honest intentions.

Yaz looked down and started fidgeting with her friend’s hands while trying to figure out the right way to say what she felt. It felt natural to do so, somehow.

“Do you—,” she stopped herself, weighing her words. “Do you remember our sleepover?”

The Doctor laughed softly. “Yaz, I may be old, but I do remember the past few days.”

Yaz looked up an instant, rolling her eyes at the Time Lord. “God, you’re silly,” she said, smiling at her. Her eyes fell down on their hands once more. “When we woke up –”

“Oh.”

The younger woman looked up to see the Doctor’s face scrunched in… shock? Realization? “What do you mean, ‘Oh’?”

“I _may_ have woken up before you did.”

“You… what?”

The Doctor sheepishly looked at her. “When I woke up, you were sleeping on my chest – you drool a little but that’s fine, really, – and I may or may not have accidentally played with your hair while I was sleeping, and I stayed there because it felt comfy and for once in my lives it felt like maybe I was allowed to live,” she said in one steady breath. “But then you left, and it made me doubt everything so much that I became accidentally addicted to Beat Saber while trying to take my mind off everything.”

Her companion blinked at her at the revelations. “Beat Saber, really? Things are starting to make sense I suppose,” Yaz laughed a little, then stared at the woman facing her. “I ran away because I was scared you’d push me away.”

“You—,” she started. “I—,” she tried. “Uh…”

“Socially awkward moment there, Doctor?” Yaz finally stopped fidgeting with the Doctor’s hand, now holding them firmly.

“Does it mean we need to learn how to communicate a little better?” The Doctor said, one hand cupping Yaz’s cheek.

“Yup, definitely,” Yaz said, leaning into the touch.

This was new, strange, exciting. None of them knew what to expect from this, but they leaned into it; into the touches, into those emotions they couldn’t ignore any longer. When green met brown once more, a mutual understanding of each other’s needs emerged from deep within.

For once, none of them felt the urge to run away. No walls building themselves up between the two women, no more fight or flight. The Doctor allowed herself to live the life Yaz thought she deserved. And Yaz, brilliant Yaz, finally allowed herself to get closer to the flame that is the Doctor, to touch it and lean into her warmth, for she is the Sun she had been looking for, for so long.

The Doctor and Yaz, finally in synch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two soft babies who can't communicate? Thasmin in a nutshell methinks.


End file.
